By SJ
Otto
I
went to a fund raiser for the Democratic Party of South Sedgwick County
Saturday Night. It was there that I heard James Thompson, who ran as a Democrat
for the 4th district for the US House of Representatives. It was that
Republican slacker Ron Estes who beat Thompson.
I was
enjoying the chili at this event and I paid a whole $6 over the admission
price so I could help the local Democrats. But I was sitting next to Herb Herbenizer,[1] a local Democrat in the Kansas House of Representatives, who then said:
"Oh
Ron Estes!? Estes is a mid level Republican flunky and he is the Kansas State
Treasurer, a job that should be eliminated since it isn't
necessary."
I
told Herb, "Well it seems he is a real slacker. He didn't seem to want to
work to hard to get elected to that seat."
"Ol' Ron is always the first to get in line when there is any kind of free food, such as a free buffet or a lobbyist sponsored dinner of some kind," Herbenizer said. "Ron may oppose Democrats getting free stuff, but he gets his share of free stuff all the time. That includes both food and liquor."
"Ol' Ron is always the first to get in line when there is any kind of free food, such as a free buffet or a lobbyist sponsored dinner of some kind," Herbenizer said. "Ron may oppose Democrats getting free stuff, but he gets his share of free stuff all the time. That includes both food and liquor."
Herbenizer
also said that Ron was a fan of the two hour work week, at least for himself, provided he can find
enough to do in those two hours.
Suddenly
I realise I have hit on an area of Ron Estes I never understood. He isn't just
a slacker, he is also a mooch and a drunk.
"Now
Ron can't be accused of having his own agenda," Herbenizer said. "He
has never had his own positions on anything. He is a follower. President Donald
Trump is gonna love Ron. He won't have to worry about a Kansas Representative
who has his own agenda and ideas. Ron will always vote as Trump wants. That's
how he is. He is a follower and a yes man. He will vote as Trump expects him
to."
"Sounds
like Trump has really got a good thing going here," I said.
"Well
he does...sort of...!"
"Uhm
what do you mean by that?"
"Well
Trump needs to get his vote before 4pm. That is REAL important. I hope Trump
realizes that."
"Well
what happens at 4pm?" I said.
"Happy
hour! Ron shoots for the door. Here in Topeka ,
when 4pm comes along you gotta have his attention or he's runnin' out the
door."
"To
go where?"
"Here
in Topeka Ron
has about four of his favourite dive bars on call at all times. He shoots out
the door for his favourite drink specials. Ron's done with politics by happy
hour. Then it's off to get his favourite drink specials. You didn't think a
slacker like Ron was going to work into the evening hours with so many bars
serving up his favourite cocktails with all those cheap prises did you
now?"
"I
never thought of it. Does he come back to the legislature or is he done for the
day?"
"Are
you kidding? I've seen Ron put down three pitchers of budwiser in just one hour.
The man can drink. He is usually sober enough to get back to his home, but
return to the Kansas State House? You're joking, right?!"
"You
mean he gets drunk every night?"
"You
should see what he looks like in the morning. Eyes puffy red,...sweating
bullets in the middle of winter...But I got to hand it to him. He does pretty
good all the way up until afternoon when his hangover lets up. By 4pm he's back
to his old self. He's just sober enough to run out to the bar and get loaded
all over again."
So
after all of this the readers may be asking—"is this true? I mean it sounds a little far fetched."
Well,
during the special election Ron ran attack ads saying that Thompson supported
late-term abortions, spending people's tax money for abortion and suggested
abortion when a couple got the wrong sex they wanted. Where those ads believable?
I say they were as believable as this article is. That says a lot.
Estes brings a certain dignity to the office.
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