Excerpts from The Journals Of A 21st Century Schizoid Man:
Jim
Browning was a short stocky man about as tall as I was and that wasn’t very
tall. I don’t often work for members of the Democratic Party, but this guy was
local. I knew him and I knew his politics. Although he wore a suite, he also
had a slight beard, his hair had just a touch of gray and he had a laid back
look about him.
His
desk was a meager looking plain wooden table with drawers. His office was small
and rather plain except for all the election posters he had on the wall. I was
sitting at a table full of information pamphlets that I would soon be giving
away door to door. Browning was running
for the Representative to my district and he was running as a Democrat.
He
was running against a far-right-wing Republican. His name is Mike O’Connally, a
true Tea-Party Yahoo. This young twerp looked as yuppie as it was possible to
get. Always in the three-piece suit and tie, with his boyish looks, he couldn’t
have been much over 25. He had short crew-cut style hair and he was clean
shaven. He looked like a Jehovah’s Witness traveling around on the bicycle. But
he would have none of that. The chamber of commerce and had just backed him,
along with the Koch brother’s fake think tank Americans
for Prosperity backed O’Connally against a moderate Republican who had served
the business community well over the last 20 years. But now, The Chamber and
the Koch brother stooges decided they could get a better deal. In fact, they
owned this guy, lock, stock and barrel. O’Connally was also tied in with ALEC
so he could get free speeches he didn’t have to write.
Sitting next to me was a friend of mine, a free-lance writer
named Hector Helium. He was about my age, dressed rather business casual and he
started laughing when he told us he had heard O’Connally giving a speech at an
economic forum put on by our local Chamber of Commerce. He recorded the speech
and to his surprise, it was word-for-word identical to a speech he had taped by
a politician who spoke at a similar event in St. Louis.
“I couldn’t believe it,” Hector said as he stroked his sort goatee.
“I didn’t realize you can get elected knowing nothing at all. Both O’Connell
and this other guy, Gibbs, had pulled up ready-made speeches from ALEC. All you
have to do is parrot what these ass holes tell you to say. Talk about an easy
job!”
One thing we all noticed was that O’Connally won the primary
election where only 19% of people voted. Surely when we explain that O’Connally
had used the low primary turnout as a “dirty trick” to try and flush out a
moderate Republican, it wouldn’t be that hard to convince people to vote for
Browning as a reasonable alternative—or would it?
I started walking door to door in Browning’s district and
already I knew we had problems. I went up to this normal looking middle class
house, with blue wooden framing on the outside and the guy inside literally
gave me the creeps.
Out
walks this old fart wearing overalls, a john Deer hat, with white hair and
crooked teeth. He told me; “Them thar libaruls want to take all our guns away
and make ever-boduh gay. I never vote fer nun them thar Dem’crats. I’m a
Kanzen. I always vote Republukin.”
The
next guy I came across called himself Ray. He also described himself as a
Republican. He’s a 40 something, not that old with dark hair, wearing blue
jeans and a clean shave and he looked like a good ol’ boy as far as a nice open
minded guy. But he wasn’t.
“People
vote Democrat because they want a welfare check rather than working for a
living,” he said. Apparently he believed only Republicans hold jobs.
“Do
you seriously believe no one who votes Democrat holds an actual job?” I asked
rather astounded that anyone would actually say that, much less believe it.
“Some
uh them thar people work at government jobs in one form or another,” he said.
“Those are just another form uh welfare. Dem’crats get ‘dem a job where they
only work a few hours a day and get what amounts to a government handout.”
A
few minutes later this same jackass was bitching because there is only one
place to renew a person’s driver’s license.
“It
took me three hours of waiting and there is only one office left in town!” he
said.
I
thought to myself; “You dumb-ass! Did you really think all these people working
in government offices didn’t really do any work?” Then there is that annoying
belief that poor people are just lazy and chose to live that way.
“Those
people could get jobs if they really wanted them,” Ray said.
“Do
you have a job?” I asked him.
“Of
course ay do. I always had a job. You think Ay’m one them thar lazy poor
Dem’crats?”
“So
you never had to look for work?”
“Nah!”
“So
you haven’t actually had to look for work in a long time?”
“I
keep my job. That’s cuz ay’m not lazy. I work hard and don’t lose my job.
People who aren’t working’ choose to live that way. They make a choice. That is
why I never vote for those lazy people who vote Democrat.”
I
decided that I would attach my Republican opponent at his weak spot, his
corrupt relationship with the Koch Brothers and the Chamber.
“Did
you know that Mike O’Connally is finance largely by the Koch Brothers and their
PAC Americans for Prosperity?” I asked Ray. “So the
Koch Brothers are actually trying to buy this election. They used dirty tricks
to get O’Connally to beat a moderate Republican in the primary so he could win
the general by just beating a Democrat. The Chamber of Commerce was behind him
also.”
“What do you have against the Koch Brut has? They are producers.
The Democrats err supported by parasites who just want to get free money from
our movement, while people like the Koch Brothels are producing the wealth in
this contra.”
Well, I finally decided that talking to Ray was a lot like
talking to a wall. Surely I would have better luck with one of the other
working class voters in this largely working class neighborhood. Surely there
was someone in this neighborhood who was bothered by the idea of a corrupt
politician running for the benefit of a few moneyed interests over the
interests of the workers.
So I walked a few blocks to a large pale red house and knocked
on the door. This balding guy with glasses came out to talk to me. He looked
smarter than the last two. Would that turn out to be true?
“I’m Mark; I’m canvassing on behalf of Jim Browning, who
is running for this district’s House of Representatives.”
“I’m
Phil,” the man quickly answered. “Is he a Republican?”
“No,”
I answered.
“I
can’t vote for a Democrat.”
“Why?”
“He
might be pro-union. “
“Unions
aren’t supporting Democrats anymore.”
“I
can’t take a chance. It isn’t fair that they make all that money and the rest
of us just make a little over minimum wage. Do you know how much more those
Boeing Union guys make than I do?”
“But
there unions earn them that money. They pay dues, go to meetings give up their
incomes when it comes time to strike. It takes a lot of work being in the
union.”
“I
think they are all just lazy and want an easy paycheck. They don’t want to work
too hard so they join a union.”
“You
mean they’re lazy like the poor people on welfare and the people who work for
the government?”
“That’s
right!”
“But
if they are so lazy, how do they get those benefits?”
“They
buy off our elections through the Democrats. It’s all about corruption.”
“What
about the Koch Brothers and their PACs, the Americans
for Prosperity and their use of ALEC. They give way more than unions to buy
elections. Did you know that O’Connally is solidly in the pockets of the
Chamber of Commerce and the Koch Brothers? He’s in debt to those people for a
lot. Whatever they ask for he will have to give it to them. He won’t have to
pay any attention to your needs or those who work as you do. He can put all the
tax burden on you, while giving his rich friends all the tax breaks.”
“But
they are rich and this is America where you earn all that wealth and power. If
I ever get rich, and I hope someday I do, I want to be able to count on the
political system to protect my rights. People who don’t like the Koch Brothers
are just jealous that they don’t have all that money.”
“But
Browning would defend you and your rights right now. Don’t you want a
politician who cares what happens to you now, before you ‘get rich?”
“If
I’m not rich it’s my own fault. I’m not going to blame the Koch Brothers or any
other rich people because I don’t live the way I want to. The answer is to get
rich.”
By
now I realized I was just talking to another wall. Throughout the neighborhood,
I was running into weird ass yahoos who didn’t seem to have a lick of sense
between their ears. It was nearly the end of the day and it was at a rather
large house and maybe this guy made a little more money. Of course I didn’t
know if they would make any difference.
“Hi!
I’m Bob,” the enthusiastic tall thin man said.
I
thought maybe this guy might be a little different. So I decided to go straight
at the environmental argument.
“People
here don’t like them tree-huggin’ enviermenalists,” Bob said. “And there ain’t
no global warmin.’ That’s just a scam by them libaruls who just want to control
us with all their socialism and communism.”
“Why
would they want to do that?” I asked in amazement. After all, I was a socialist
and I couldn’t see any clear cut link between socialists and liberals—accept on
some social issues. Most socialists and Marxists I knew hated liberals almost
more then they hated conservatives. I have to admit that I was one of the acceptations
to the rule.
“It’s
all about control,” Bob explained. “That’s what the Democrats is all about.
They just want to control us and tell us how to live. I’m an individualist. I
don’t depend on anyone for anything. I’m completely self sufficient.”
“An
individualist? Do you make your own
clothes, build your own car, and grow your own food?”
“Well
that doesn’t matter. Modern man uses the paycheck rather than the bow and arrow
for his food. I just don’t believe in taking hand-outs.”
“Most
people who have taken government handouts have paid into the system at one time
or another. Even the few people who
haven’t ever held a job pay taxes and spend their money on the economy. So
everyone is interdependent in one way or another—unless you live as a hermit in
a cave.”
“Oh!
That’s ridiculous. People on welfare are bums and I’m not one of those. Those
people are ignorant. The reason Republicans win in this state is because people
in Kansas are better educated. Ignorant people vote for Democrats.”
“Since
I’m working for a Democrat, you must think I’m very ignorant.’
“You don’t understand simple economics that
much I can say for sure. If you understood how economics work you would never
vote for a Democrat.”
“I
guess I just need more education,” I said sarcastically.
“You
need a job that is for sure.”
“I
have a job.”
His
jaw dropped and he gave me a look of surprise as if he had never heard of a
working Democrat before.
Finally—done
with canvassing for the day. And if I had seriously given it any thought, I
would never do it again. After a hard day on the campaign trail, it was time to
kick back and relax in my black leather chair with a cold Magnum Malt liquor
can. The TV was on and one of our esteemed City Councilmen Cal Brewhaa was on
TV talking about a new airline coming to Wichita, known throughout the city as
the “Air Capital.” Brewhaa talked about all of the great jobs it would bring
here.
“We
hope to have the AA-Hole Airline moving to Wichita next month,” said Brewhaa.
“This will provide lots of aircraft jobs.”
Yes
it would, I thought to myself. But what kind of jobs? Will there be minimum or near
minimum wages! Or will there be any union jobs that pay an actual living wage.
This town was good at finding low income jobs for the little people who lived
here. Many, just like those I had talked to while canvassing were likely to
work at such low paying jobs and then bitch because they can barely get by—then
vote Republican!
Make
no mistake about it. This is a one-horse town. It’s the air capital of the
Mid-west.
Of
course those who don’t want to build air craft can blow it out their asses, as
far as our city leaders were concerned. Most people with significant talents,
which did not go well with building aircraft, left this town—if they were
smart.
Finally
the day had come to reap the rewards of our hard fought campaign labor. It was
campaign night. It’s a great time to mingle with political folks and swill
cheap boos while watching to see if any of our candidates actually win. On
those rare occasions when a Democrat does win in the Wichita, it is a big
celebration. I was wearing my business casual duds and sitting at one of the
many folding chairs around the folding tables covered with all kinds of nifty
snacks, cheese, crackers, finger meets, etc. Then there was a bar that served
all kinds of soft drinks, coffee, a few types of beer and wine. This was a
large building which used to be an old theater and had lots of meeting areas.
It had lots of homey decorations and real furniture.
What
I liked best about these events were all the cute Democrat women. Some were
quite sexy looking. That is one thing the Republicans did not have was really
sexy women. And there women were as dull as they come.
I
stood with Browning by the TV all night as the local news reported one
district’s results after another. By now
I figured that losing this election was a foregone conclusion. But what I
didn’t expect was the percentage of votes Browning did get. By about midnight,
with more than 90% of the votes in, Browning got 43% of the popular vote. Was
that possible?!
Could some of the voters actually grown tired of
Brownback’s personal punk boy? Were there some voters who actually took the
time to look at issues and the blatant corruption of the Republican Party in
this coup they used to gain control for their corporate greed? Apparently I got
to a few voters. I don’t know who they were, but not every voter in this state
is an ignoramus. Some can actually think for themselves and that was a great
revelation for me that night.
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